7个技巧立刻提升沟通能力

销售里有一对概念 KISS VS KILL
There’s a concept in the sales world calledKISS vs. KILL.
KISS-亲吻 是简短的缩写KILL-杀掉 则对应冗长
Keeping it short and simple versus keeping it long and lengthy.
业余的销售员一直念叨不重要的细节
Amateur salesman would “KILL” the sale
结果会“终结”一次销售
by going on and on about unimportant details.
但一个好的销售员 则相反
A good salesman on the other hand would hit
他会直接开门见山
all of the important points in the shortest
单刀直入话题重心 然后结束销售
time possible and close the deal.
第一条 有效率讲话
Tip#1 is to be efficient with your speaking.
高质量的交谈
Conversation is all about quality.
试着剔除这类词语 比如
Try to remove all types of filler words like,
呃 就是 我猜 嗯 啊 你知道吗
“Uhm, Like, I Guess, Well, Uhhhhh, You Know.”
这些词语对谈话没有价值
These words bring no value to the conversation
毫无意义
and they literally mean nothing.
听听下面这段话
Listen to the following paragraph.
这个冬天你做了什么?
What did you do this winter?
嗯 我在这个假期里过得挺好
Well, I had an ok time this break.
这是我第一次参加滑雪
Well, I had an ok time this break.
和几个朋友
with some of my friends and uhm….
嗯 滑雪实际上
well it’s actually a lot harder than it looked.
嗯 差不多就是这样
Uh…that’s about it.
我想我玩得还挺开心的哈哈
I guess I had fun haha.
现在和这段对话比较一下
Now compare it to this,
这个冬天你怎么过的?
“What did you do this winter?”
我和朋友去滑雪了
Me and my friends went snowboarding.
实际上这是我第一次去滑雪
It was actually my first time
滑起来比看上去更难一点
and it was a lot harder than it looked.
注意第二个版本短了很多
Notice how the second version is much shorter,
但传达的信息
but the information being conveyed is the exact same.
然而这听起来人更自信 也更富有经验
However it sounds more confident and even more sophisticated.
别畏惧使用停顿
Don’t be afraid to take pauses
取代填充词作为支撑
instead of relying on filler words as a crutch.
停顿会更有力量 也会强调信息不同的点
Pauses can be powerful and can emphasize different parts of the message.
下面是一个实际有关停顿的例子
Here’s an example of pauses in action
所用的句子和我们之前提到的一样
with the same sentence that we mentioned before.
我和一些朋友去玩单板滑雪
Me and some friends went snowboarding…
实际上这是我第一次滑雪
It was actually my first time but…
但是它比看上去还要难得多
it was a lot harder…than it looked.
第二个技巧是利用停顿
Tip # 2 is to use pauses to emphasize different parts
强调信息的不同成分 以传达给力的讯息
of the message and to deliver more powerful messages.
就总体对话能力而言
The following skill is probably the single most important skill
下面的技巧可能是首要的一个
in terms of overall conversation ability.
如果你能掌握这一技巧
If you can master this one skill,
你就能和任何人
you’ll be able to have endless conversations
聊个不停
with just about anybody.
第三个技巧是“编造”会话
Tip#3 is conversational threading.
在每句话中
Within every sentence,
你可以把每一个句子分成不同的主题
there are different topics that you can branch off into.
让我们来看一下下面这句话
Let’s take a look at the following sentence.
我居住在纽约市
I live in New York City but
但是我总是想着搬到郊区去
I’ve always wanted to move to the suburbs.
因为我热爱大自然
It’s because I love nature
而且我讨厌身边有太多人
and I hate being around too many people.
你可以从这句中分出四个主题
There are four different topics that you can branch off from here.
你可以谈谈你什么时候想到纽约去
You can talk about that time you wanted to visit New York City.
或者你觉得郊区的生活怎么样
You can talk about how you feel living in the suburbs.
又或者你和大自然的关系
You can talk about your relationship with nature,
最后你也可以谈谈 同样作为一个内向的人
and you can also talk about how you’re an introvert
你是怎么把
and how you can relate
这种内向的性格与讨厌人多联系起来的
with their hate with being around too many people.
一段对话之所以进行不下去
When a conversation dies it’s usually because
通常是因为没有别的有趣的话题
there are no other topics to talk about that are interesting.
所以一旦有机会拆分不同话题
So when given the opportunity to branch off into different topics,
聊下去吧
choose one that you are interested in talking about.
还要记住
Also keep in mind,
你也得给对方机会
that you want to be giving the other person opportunities
让他也能谈谈不同的话题
to talk about multiple topics as well.
如果你不能给对方切分话题的可能
If you don’t give them topics to branch off into,
这段对话最终就会终结
the conversation will eventually reach a dead-end.
这项技能可以说是熟能生巧
Now this skill comes with practice.
你越努力地去寻找话题来做出回应
The more you try to look for topics to bounce off of,
你就越会发现新的话题
the more you will notice them.
下面是另外一个句子
Here’s another sentence.
我喜欢去体育馆
I like going to the gym.
去那里我能得到满足
There’s a sense of satisfaction I get
因为我能看到自己更擅长某种东西了
when I see myself getting better at something.
从这句话中你可以切分出三个不同的话题
Now there are three different topics that you can branch off from here.
你可以谈谈你有多么喜欢去体育馆
You can talk about how you like going to the gym.
或者你对什么东西感到满意
You can talk about something that satisfies you.
你还可以谈谈你更擅长做什么了
You can also talk about something that you got better at.
回忆一下你上次接受面试的情况
Think back to the last time you went on an interview.
当我想到面试的时候
When I think of an interview,
我就会想到一些压力极大
I think of something that is high tension,
让人神经紧绷的事情
nerve-wrecking, and definitely not something
那绝不是普通人喜欢忍受的事情
that ordinary person going through.
初次见面时 许多人都会犯一个共性的错误
A common mistake that a lot of people make when meeting someone new,
我所谓的“面试状态”
is entering what I like to call “Interview Mode”.
他们会像连珠炮弹似的
They bombard the other person with question
用一个接一个的问题轰炸对方
after question after question, and this can
这会让人特别不舒服
be extremely uncomfortable.
问个不停的结果就是
The issue with asking too many questions is
它使得对话变得完全单向
that it makes the conversation very one sided.
提问时你没有分享关于你的任何信息
When you ask a question you’re not sharing any information about yourself.
而你一直在查问对方的信息
All you’re doing is demanding information from the other person.
这就是产生不适感的症结所在
This is where that uncomfortable feeling comes from.
此时需要建立一种联系
There’s a lack of connection that is being built.
你得非常愿意分享有关你自己的东西
You want to be sharing information about yourself as much
只有这样 你才能够和别人建立融洽的关系
as possible so that you can build rapport.
建立一种联系吧
Build a connection.
第四个技巧 用陈述句 不要用问句
Tip#4 is to use statements instead of questions.
做陈述就是分享有关你自己的信息
When you make statements you share information about yourself.
所以下次和好朋友或者死党一起逛街的时候
Pay attention to the next time you hang out
你就要注意这些
with your closest friends or buddies.
你会发现绝大多数的对话都是陈述句
You’ll notice that the majority of the conversation is with statements.
偶尔对话中会自然而然地抛出问句
Once in a while a question is thrown
但是
in as a natural step in the conversation, but the
绝大多数对话全由陈述句组成
large majority will be all statements.
下面是许多不同类型的陈述句
Now there are a lot of different types of statements,
我会重点讲一下主要的那几个
and I’ll cover the main ones.
我们有故事观点型陈述
We have the story opinion statement.
基本上这种陈述就是讲述一个小故事
Basically a statement that tells a small story
或者表述你对某事的观点
or shows your opinion on something.
下面是一个问句的例子
Here is an example of a question.
你害怕什么?
What are you scared of?
这里有一个用故事陈述句代替问句的例子
Here is an example of the story statement being used to replace this question.
我以前很怕黑
I used to be terrified of the dark.
在我小时候 我会把头埋在被子下面睡觉
When I was a kid, I would sleep with my head under the covers
这样就不会被魔鬼和妖怪找到了
to hide from all the monsters and ghosts.
注意这个问句 完全没有提到你自己
Notice how the question shares nothing about yourself.
除了回答你的问题
It doesn’t really give the other person
对方实际上并没有可延伸的话题来谈
a topic to jump to besides answering your question.
因此你的问句仅仅给了他们一个可谈的话题
So your only really giving them one thing to talk about.
另一方面
On the other hand,
故事陈述不仅分享了信息
the story statement shares information while it also gives the other
还给对方机会讨论不同的话题
person opportunities to talk about different topics.
你为他们提供了不同的引申素材
You’re giving them different things to thread off of.
他们可以谈谈他们怕不怕黑
They can talk about whether or not they’re scared of the dark.
还可以谈他们小时候常做什么事
They can talk about things they used to do when they were a kid.
甚至他们还能谈点鬼故事
And they can even talk about ghost stories.
这些都是可以从陈述句里切分出来的话题
All of these can be branched off of this statement.
接下来我们有冷读陈述
Next up we have the cold read statement.
面对刚认识的人 这是一种很好的陈述方式
This is a great way to use statements with someone you just met.
简单来说 这是你对对方的观察
Simple put, it’s an observation that you make about the other person.
比起说一说
Instead of saying something like,” Hey,
“嘿 你想玩点什么”
what do you like to do for fun.”
不如说 “嘿 你看起来是个有趣的人
You can say something like,”Hey, you look like a fun person.
我猜你有一些有趣的爱好”
I bet you have some interesting hobbies.”
这是一种很好的技巧 因为对方能以三种方式回应
This is a great trick because the person can respond in three different ways.
第一 你错了 所以他们会纠正你
Number 1: You’re wrong, and they’ll correct you.
我一点儿也不有趣
I’m actually not fun.
我整天睡觉
I sleep all day.
第二 虽然你错了
Number 2: You’re wrong but,
但是对方会问你你为什么会这样想
you’ll be asked why you thought so.
“实际上我无趣得很 不过
“I’m actually not fun but,
我好奇是你为什么会这样想我”
I’m curious as to why you thought I was.
第三 你是对的
Number 3: You’re correct and a large amount
然后你们立马热络起来
of rapport will be built instantaneously.
我爱好挺广泛的 我喜欢唱歌和跳舞
I am fun, I love to dance and sing.
你是怎么知道的
How did you know?!?
三者中的任何一个都让你有机会
Each of these ways gives you many more
把话题切分开来
opportunities to branch off into different topics as compared
而不是仅问一句“你玩什么呀”
to the simple question,”What do you do for fun?”
所以说首先你得分享信息
So you’re sharing information first,
而且你还不能奢求回应
and you’re not asking anything from them.
该让对方决定怎么来回应
and you’re not asking anything from them.
最后我们有一种随机陈述
And finally we have the random statement.
他们是完全随机的
They’re completely random statements that
也就是说 他们是那些刚好蹦到你脑中的东西
are literally the thoughts that just pop into your mind.
这种随机陈述可以是任何东西
They can range from anything about;
你周围发生的事情啦 你观察到的东西啦 故事啦
things that are happening around you, or observations, stories,
或者是临时想到的什么东西
random thoughts.
你能说的东西非常多
There’s a whole lot of things that you can talk about.
下面是一些例子
Here’s some examples:
我受够了我的那群朋友 他们成天谈运动
I’m tired of my friends all they talk about is sports all day.
瞧瞧这个人 他玩的好开心
Look at that guy, he’s having so much fun.
我也想有那么潇洒
I wish I could be that loose.
我打算休课一年
I’m thinking about taking a year off from school.
每一条陈述都分享了很多你的信息
Each of these statements share a lot of information about yourself.
同时它们也提供了许多可切分的话题
They also provide multiple topics to branch off into.
最后它们还让对话产生了一种新奇感 让它无意识的进行下去
And finally they bring a sense of creativity and spontaneous-ness to the conversation.
我还可以说三点别的技巧
There’s three other tips that I could cover but,
但是每一个都有太大的信息量
each one has so much information that
我得花上一整个视频来讲
it would literally take me an entire video to cover.
我们可以谈谈幽默法
We could talk about humor,
这种方式尤其复杂巧妙
which is an extremely complicated way to dance
让你能够玩转对话
and play with your words.
我们还可以谈谈讲故事法
We could talk about storytelling,
讲故事法本质上是通过讲述既迷人又刺激的故事
which is essentially telling a captivating and exciting
让陌生人有机会进入你的世界
story that will allow strangers to jump into your world.
或者我们还可以谈谈如何进行深度对话
Or we could talk about how to have a deep conversation,
深度对话对建立长期有益的人际关系
which is an essential tool to
具有重要作用
building long lasting, valuable, relationships.
至于大家要做的呢
What I’d like for you guys to do,
就是在这个视频下面留言
is to comment below and let me know
让我知道下次你们想让我讲哪一个视频
which video you want me to work on next.
记住对话是一种技巧
Now remember conversation is a skill,
就像其他任何一种技巧一样
and just like any skill there is value to learning it.
只有当你放手一搏
But the most growth will be experienced
实践所学
when you actually go out there and you practice
你才能够取得最大的进步
what you’ve learned.
通过实践我们今天讲到的小技巧
By applying some of the tips and tricks that we cover today,
你在以后的对话上面会有多么大的进步了
you’ll see a massive improvement in your future conversations.

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