销售里有一对概念 KISS VS KILL
There’s a concept in the sales world calledKISS vs. KILL.
KISS-亲吻 是简短的缩写KILL-杀掉 则对应冗长
Keeping it short and simple versus keeping it long and lengthy.
Amateur salesman would “KILL” the sale
by going on and on about unimportant details.
A good salesman on the other hand would hit
all of the important points in the shortest
time possible and close the deal.
Tip#1 is to be efficient with your speaking.
Conversation is all about quality.
Try to remove all types of filler words like,
呃 就是 我猜 嗯 啊 你知道吗
“Uhm, Like, I Guess, Well, Uhhhhh, You Know.”
These words bring no value to the conversation
and they literally mean nothing.
Listen to the following paragraph.
What did you do this winter?
Well, I had an ok time this break.
Well, I had an ok time this break.
with some of my friends and uhm….
well it’s actually a lot harder than it looked.
Uh…that’s about it.
I guess I had fun haha.
Now compare it to this,
“What did you do this winter?”
Me and my friends went snowboarding.
It was actually my first time
and it was a lot harder than it looked.
Notice how the second version is much shorter,
but the information being conveyed is the exact same.
However it sounds more confident and even more sophisticated.
Don’t be afraid to take pauses
instead of relying on filler words as a crutch.
Pauses can be powerful and can emphasize different parts of the message.
Here’s an example of pauses in action
with the same sentence that we mentioned before.
Me and some friends went snowboarding…
It was actually my first time but…
it was a lot harder…than it looked.
Tip # 2 is to use pauses to emphasize different parts
of the message and to deliver more powerful messages.
The following skill is probably the single most important skill
in terms of overall conversation ability.
If you can master this one skill,
you’ll be able to have endless conversations
with just about anybody.
Tip#3 is conversational threading.
Within every sentence,
there are different topics that you can branch off into.
Let’s take a look at the following sentence.
I live in New York City but
I’ve always wanted to move to the suburbs.
It’s because I love nature
and I hate being around too many people.
There are four different topics that you can branch off from here.
You can talk about that time you wanted to visit New York City.
You can talk about how you feel living in the suburbs.
You can talk about your relationship with nature,
and you can also talk about how you’re an introvert
and how you can relate
with their hate with being around too many people.
When a conversation dies it’s usually because
there are no other topics to talk about that are interesting.
So when given the opportunity to branch off into different topics,
choose one that you are interested in talking about.
Also keep in mind,
that you want to be giving the other person opportunities
to talk about multiple topics as well.
If you don’t give them topics to branch off into,
the conversation will eventually reach a dead-end.
Now this skill comes with practice.
The more you try to look for topics to bounce off of,
the more you will notice them.
Here’s another sentence.
I like going to the gym.
There’s a sense of satisfaction I get
when I see myself getting better at something.
Now there are three different topics that you can branch off from here.
You can talk about how you like going to the gym.
You can talk about something that satisfies you.
You can also talk about something that you got better at.
Think back to the last time you went on an interview.
When I think of an interview,
I think of something that is high tension,
nerve-wrecking, and definitely not something
that ordinary person going through.
A common mistake that a lot of people make when meeting someone new,
is entering what I like to call “Interview Mode”.
They bombard the other person with question
after question after question, and this can
be extremely uncomfortable.
The issue with asking too many questions is
that it makes the conversation very one sided.
When you ask a question you’re not sharing any information about yourself.
All you’re doing is demanding information from the other person.
This is where that uncomfortable feeling comes from.
There’s a lack of connection that is being built.
You want to be sharing information about yourself as much
as possible so that you can build rapport.
Build a connection.
第四个技巧 用陈述句 不要用问句
Tip#4 is to use statements instead of questions.
When you make statements you share information about yourself.
Pay attention to the next time you hang out
with your closest friends or buddies.
You’ll notice that the majority of the conversation is with statements.
Once in a while a question is thrown
in as a natural step in the conversation, but the
large majority will be all statements.
Now there are a lot of different types of statements,
and I’ll cover the main ones.
We have the story opinion statement.
Basically a statement that tells a small story
or shows your opinion on something.
Here is an example of a question.
What are you scared of?
Here is an example of the story statement being used to replace this question.
I used to be terrified of the dark.
When I was a kid, I would sleep with my head under the covers
to hide from all the monsters and ghosts.
Notice how the question shares nothing about yourself.
It doesn’t really give the other person
a topic to jump to besides answering your question.
So your only really giving them one thing to talk about.
On the other hand,
the story statement shares information while it also gives the other
person opportunities to talk about different topics.
You’re giving them different things to thread off of.
They can talk about whether or not they’re scared of the dark.
They can talk about things they used to do when they were a kid.
And they can even talk about ghost stories.
All of these can be branched off of this statement.
Next up we have the cold read statement.
This is a great way to use statements with someone you just met.
Simple put, it’s an observation that you make about the other person.
Instead of saying something like,” Hey,
what do you like to do for fun.”
不如说 “嘿 你看起来是个有趣的人
You can say something like,”Hey, you look like a fun person.
I bet you have some interesting hobbies.”
This is a great trick because the person can respond in three different ways.
第一 你错了 所以他们会纠正你
Number 1: You’re wrong, and they’ll correct you.
I’m actually not fun.
I sleep all day.
Number 2: You’re wrong but,
you’ll be asked why you thought so.
“I’m actually not fun but,
I’m curious as to why you thought I was.
Number 3: You’re correct and a large amount
of rapport will be built instantaneously.
I am fun, I love to dance and sing.
How did you know?!?
Each of these ways gives you many more
opportunities to branch off into different topics as compared
to the simple question,”What do you do for fun?”
So you’re sharing information first,
and you’re not asking anything from them.
and you’re not asking anything from them.
And finally we have the random statement.
They’re completely random statements that
are literally the thoughts that just pop into your mind.
They can range from anything about;
你周围发生的事情啦 你观察到的东西啦 故事啦
things that are happening around you, or observations, stories,
There’s a whole lot of things that you can talk about.
Here’s some examples:
I’m tired of my friends all they talk about is sports all day.
Look at that guy, he’s having so much fun.
I wish I could be that loose.
I’m thinking about taking a year off from school.
Each of these statements share a lot of information about yourself.
They also provide multiple topics to branch off into.
And finally they bring a sense of creativity and spontaneous-ness to the conversation.
There’s three other tips that I could cover but,
each one has so much information that
it would literally take me an entire video to cover.
We could talk about humor,
which is an extremely complicated way to dance
and play with your words.
We could talk about storytelling,
which is essentially telling a captivating and exciting
story that will allow strangers to jump into your world.
Or we could talk about how to have a deep conversation,
which is an essential tool to
building long lasting, valuable, relationships.
What I’d like for you guys to do,
is to comment below and let me know
which video you want me to work on next.
Now remember conversation is a skill,
and just like any skill there is value to learning it.
But the most growth will be experienced
when you actually go out there and you practice
what you’ve learned.
By applying some of the tips and tricks that we cover today,
you’ll see a massive improvement in your future conversations.